Dale Carnegie Never Had So Many Friends

Editor's note: While Eric recovers from his vacation and tries to burn

through his backlog of unread emails, we thought we'd keep you entertained by

providing you with this extract from an unpublished manuscript we've come across,

Confessions of an Internet Marketer. In this chapter we hear an unknown

Internet marketer known only as The Farmer describe why the easiest way to

make a lot of friends is to own a large mailing list.

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Confessions of an Internet Marketer —
Chapter 8: Dale Carnegie Never Had So Many Friends

I met the Farmer again and ordered him his favorite drink. As usual, he didn't

allow me to write or record anything he said, but here's my recollection of how

the session went.

The Farmer started by asking me a question. “Are you on anyone's mailing list?”

he asked me.

“Sure,” I said, “I've signed up for a few lists. Some because I bought

someone's product, some to get free e-books and software.”

“You need to sign up for way more,” he said. “In fact, I want you to sign up

for every list you can find in the next week. They're all over the place, it won't

be hard.”

“Why would I want to do that?” I asked. “My mailbox is full enough

already!”

“Two reasons,” said the Farmer. “As I told you before, the quickest way to get

going in this business is to see what others are doing and to copy it yourself.

The more lists you're on, the more patterns you'll see as to what works and what

doesn't. That's the first reason.” He took a swig of his drink.

“And the second?” I prompted him.

He smiled. “To make some new friends.” He took another drink. “That's how you

really make money, you know.”

“But I've already got friends,” I protested. “I'm certainly not desperate

enough to join mailing lists to make a few friends. Besides, they're kind of

one-way, aren't they? Wouldn't I be better off using a social networking

site?”

“Ah, but a 'friend' in Internet marketing lingo is not the same as a friend in

real life,” he explained. “If you join a mailing list, what's your relationship

with the owner of the list?”

“A customer,” I replied, “or maybe a client. Or a subscriber.”

“Nope,” said the Farmer. “That's your business school mentality getting in the

way. You're not a subscriber. Or a client. Or a customer. You're a

friend. You join my list and you're automatically my friend.”

“Um, I don't think it's that easy. Don't we need a relationship?”

The Farmer shook his head. “You are in a relationship. You've agreed to

let him or her send you mail. You've given your name. That's a big step in the

online world. It's not a deep friendship, but it's a relationship. And now you're

his or her friend.”

“But I don't think of them as friends!”

“No, you probably don't. But they do. Why else would they call you by your

first name and send you special offers.” He changed the tone of his voice.

“Dear John, I thought I'd let you know about this great offer that's come my

way.“

“OK,” I said, “now you're making fun of me!”

“Kind of,” he admitted, “but what I said about list owners being friends with

their subscribers is true. It's one way the list owners keep their subscribers. If

they can make their subscribers feel special — hey, this guys sends me

good stuff and seems to like me — then they're less likely to

unsubscribe. Which is good, because a list owner needs a lot of subscribers to

make money with his real friends.”

“Who are the real friends?” I asked.

“That's easy,” he answered. “Other online marketers.”

“And that's because…?”

“Because you have lots of friends,” he explained. “You build yourself a

good list where people trust you and other online marketers will come knocking at

your door, wanting to be your friend. Because a friend of a friend is also a

friend, if you know what I mean.” He winked at me.

“If you join a lot of lists,” he continued, “you'll see what I mean. Watch for

someone to announce a new product. Then on the day that the product launches,

check your inbox. You'll be deluged with emails. Each list owner will be talking

about the great product that 'my friend XXXXX' has just launched and how

you should really go and take a look at it now. Trust me, Dale Carnegie never had

so many friends.”

“If I get so many emails,” I asked, “isn't it obvious that the 'friendships'

are fake?”

“Well, most people don't join as many lists as you or I do,” the Farmer said,

“so it's not as blatant. Besides, the marketers have a way to handle that problem:

'You're probably getting mail about product X from others today, but if you buy

it from me I'll throw in these free bonuses'. The list owners are competing

with each other, so if they can get more sales by sweetening the deal with some

stuff they've already got on hand, they will.”

“So the list owners aren't friends with each other?”

“Oh, sure they are,” said the Farmer. “There's nothing wrong with some friendly

competition. Besides, one of those competitors might turn around and offer you a

product to sell to your list someday. Everyone's a friend, you see. They're all

one big happy family.”

“A greedy family,” I said.

“Oh, sure,” he replied, “but what's wrong with that?” He finished his drink and left the building, leaving me alone to contemplate what he'd said. And to pay the bill.

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Eric Giguere is the contextual advertising expert who wrote Make Easy Money with Google and Uncommon AdSense. If you like this posting, why not link to his blog or bookmark it as one of your favorites?

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